Short version: there’s no magic “read all texts without them noticing,” especially on iPhones.
- iPhone: Cloud/Apple ID methods trigger 2FA popups and device alerts; “iCloud spy” apps are hit-or-miss; jailbreaking is a hard no.
- Android: Works if you get 10–15 minutes with the phone to install a parental-control app (Bark, MMGuardian, Qustodio, mSpy). You’ll grant Accessibility/Notification access and disable battery optimization—usable but not truly invisible.
- Carrier: Your online account shows who/when they text, not content, unless you opt into the carrier’s own message-sync service.
- Easiest route:
- iPhone: Screen Time + Communication Limits + Find My; add Bark for alerts (needs periodic local scan or iCloud setup).
- Android: Bark/Qustodio/MMGuardian for SMS/social + Google Family Link for basics.
- Quick checks: phone bill, Apple/Google account device list, installed apps, shared location.
- Dad tip: tell them you’re putting controls in place—stealth usually backfires (2FA pings, weird profiles, battery drain).