Parents often hear about cases of child abuse on TV and social media. But, in most cases, they think it happens elsewhere and would never relate to their children. Unfortunately, acts of child abuse happen more frequently than an average parent thinks.
For instance, there were reported 656,243 cases of child abuse in the United States solely. Around 158,900 of those children were aged from 2 to 5.
Child abuse can come in various forms, including psychological, physical, and sexual mistreatment. The worst thing is that child abuse remains common throughout the world. One of the worst cases of it is pedophilia.
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What Is Pedophilia: Mental Illness or Act of Violence?
Pedophilia, also classified in DSM-IV and DSM-IV-TR as a paraphilia, is a form of psychosexual disorder in adults. It’s characterized by a wish of a mature person to have sexual relations with children, usually aged 13 or younger.
Pedophiles often start their relations with children through friendship and then engage them in sexual connections. Some cases results in a victim’s death.
Most commonly, a pedophile is an everyman who lives nearby or works at your kid’s school. That’s why it’s important to know the most common signs of pedophilia that can help you safeguard your child from befriending a molester.
How to Spot a Pedophile: 8 Signs That Can Save Your Child From Abuse
Identifying a child predator can be pretty challenging, as often pedophiles look like common people. Researchers say these are mostly males over 30 years old, married, and those occupying a wide range of job positions (although some prefer being close to kids and choose child-related professions).
Although you can’t say for sure that the one is a pedophile, you can pay attention to the warning signs of a child predator described below.
*It is important to assume that the following characteristics alone do not determine that one as a pedophile.
Unusual Interest in Child Activities
One of the most obvious symptoms of pedophilia is the intensive interest of an adult person in child activities. Most molesters prefer to spend time as if they were kids, rather than choosing activities for adults.
Their hobbies can appear childlike, such as playing with cars or planes and collecting toys. An environment they live in or spend time in is often decorated in a childish manner and can appeal to the age and sex of a victim.
Use of “Angelic” Terms to Describe Kids
Pedophiles tend to use divine-related definitions to describe children. If you often notice that an adult corresponds to a child as an “angel” or uses words such as “innocent” or “pure” too often, it can be a warning pedophile flag.
Mental or Mood Disorders
If you know someone who suffers from a mental disorder, they aren’t necessarily a child abuser. However, as pedophilia is classified as a psychosexual disorder, it can be accompanied by other psychic diseases.
Good Relations With the Victim
Pedophiles tend to build strong friendly relationships with their victims. They usually concentrate on a single target and work hard to gain their trust.
Oftentimes, a pedophile turns out to be acquainted with a kid. For example, they can turn out to be a victim’s teacher, neighbor, babysitter, or a family friend. Rarely, an abuser can be a close family member.
“Friendship” With Vulnerable Children
Predators prefer to build relations with shy or withdrawn kids who need support but can’t get it from family. So, pedophiles give their victims care, money, and, finally, become their friends and mentors.
Then, a pedophile engages a child in watching adult movies and browsing explicit pictures. Before they know it, a kid can find themselves enticed into sexual relations with an adult predator.
Collections of Pornography
Almost all child abusers collect and keep DVDs with adult movies that they protect at all costs. They can also store child erotic content and child-adult pornography. Sometimes, they obtain “trophies” from their victim: photos and videos taken during the act of abuse.
Provoking Anger to Parents in a Kid
Criticizing the victim’s family members and their approach to parenting is another way for a predator to gain trust. They enable a child to think that parents limit their freedom. They draw a kid from the family by convincing young people they’re old enough to perform adult activities, including sex.
Spending Time Alone With a Child
If a predator is someone you know (e.g. your friend or your child’s coach), they can insist on staying with your kid alone. If you notice they do it too often, make sure to discuss every detail of their time spent together with your child.
Active Internet Groomer
In real life, there’s a chance that a kid recognizes a molester by their weird appearance or other signs of a petifile. However, they can barely identify a predator online. Pedophiles can be active social media users where they seek new child acquaintances and choose a potential victim.
How to Prevent a Child From Being Abused?
There are federal laws devoted to fighting child abuse. For instance, Megan’s Law requires that local law enforcement notify people about sentenced sex offenders that live nearby or visit their communities. It was passed in 1996 and helped many parents to indicate a pedophile before it’s too late.
However, the law has no power when it comes to uncovered child abusers that pose a danger to kids right now. The only way to prevent children from contacting them is by monitoring their online activity of a kid.
You can use a parental control app, such as mSpy, to detect and block online predators on your kid’s social media account and cell phone contacts.
The mSpy app makes it possible to read your child’s text messages, view sent and received media files, and monitor their calls right from your smartphone. You can also track your kid’s GPS location remotely and get details about their actual whereabouts.
Nice Carla but you should add travels locations too… A single man going to disgusting places such as south thailand islands, koh phangan and koh tao are a strong hint…
Hi, Moise! That’s a good point, thank you! We’ll update the article with more info soon.
A friend of mine, her father molested her when she was young and then he started travelling to other countries like Moise mentioned above. She finally got her day in court with him and he didn’t do a long jail term because he was older so they took his passport away. He was flying up into his old age.
Apps like Web Watchers track children against the Children’s online privacy policy. Online apps can be used for a bad purpose.
I am suspecting one of my neighbours is one. Recently he has become focused on two teenage girls aged 13 and 14 years of age living in the same complex. He also has a camera inside his house. My concern is the fact he watches both girls whenever they are playing in the driveway. He seems to randomly appear and tries to engage with the girls.. he also tried to drag my daughter inside his house.., and is always watching her as well. its so sickening.
In saying that I keep an eye out for both girls plus my daughter and all the other children in the complex.
Good thing you’re keeping an eye on the situation, Nicola! Please be sure to contact the authorities if such behavior doesn’t stop.
What if this child has special needs, how much harder will it be to tell especially if he’s nonverbal?
Hi! Thank you for your comment!
Kids, even the ones who can communicate verbally, rarely openly talk about things like that to their parents because they simply don’t realize the weight of the situation. Instead, they may find other ways of expressing their feelings. Most commonly – drawings. It’s always a good idea to let them draw anything they like and then analyze it.
You can also try to pinpoint slight changes in the behavior of the child – how they react or look at strangers on the street or people you know, whether they get fidgety around certain people, etc.
My son has recently told me that a parent walked by him and said what’s up buddy and put his fingers in his mouth.. and didn’t say anything until today but he was thinking that was weird. I have never left my kids alone with anyone we were at a soccer game and I was watching my other son play and did not notice it? Do you think you would say anything or should I be alarmed
Niccola, I think you are on to something if your gut instincts tell you this and you are seeing him always trying to talk with them and be aggressive about getting them to enter into his apartment. Please take a video of the way he interacts with them each time, but don’t let him see you do it. Then call the police asap and show them the video. Definitely tell them that he tried to drag one of these children into his house (?!) That is absolutely a Crime here in America. Don’t let any nay sayers (negative people) talk you out of that. Those girls are entitled to protection and not horrific abuse. Please call the police and show them a copy of videos of his behaviors. People get tied up in basements because no one fights for them enough(!) Praying for you and them! Sincerely, Kayla
My kids’ dad was charged with child sexual assault and given a short sentence. We still don’t know the truth as he took a plea and the girls didn’t have to testify. The charges against him were from his two step-daughters (a couple years younger than my kids). Both my kids are going through and mental/trauma issues. I am afraid that my kids may know more but they can’t talk. I want the truth to be told so we can all heal from this. My heart breaks for my kids cause they are having feelings of betrayal and they don’t know really know if their dad did this or not.
Hi, Tann! I’m so sorry to hear that this is happening in your family. Of course, it would be better if you talked to them about it, but if you’re scared of saying something wrong and hurting them, then maybe it’s better to try getting family counseling?
When I was younger I worked for two organizations that fought against child abuse and sex-trafficking of children and young women. We often found that it was a family member that had sexually abused or trafficked the child. I think the actually statistic of child sexual abuse perpetuated by a family member (such as a father, brother, cousin, etc) is 34%.
I highly recommend updating this article to reflect this statistic because stating that it “rarely” occurs between family members is both incredibly dangerous and seriously inaccurate.
Hello, Em! Thank you so much for your comment. We’ll take it into consideration and update the article as soon as possible.
We have new neighbors and the husband has taken a liking to our 5yr old granddaughter. If he hasn’t seen her for awhile, he will come over and ask for her, he calls her on the phone, calls her sweetheart, tells her he misses her and when his wife and hum took her camping,our granddaughter slept with him. I see big red signs and her Councilor says it sounds too familiar keep him away. Our daughter days he is grooming her. She also has had nightmares this last week, like she did when she came to live with. What do I do?
Hello, Erin! This is definitely not okay and you should limit their contact as much as possible. You can imply in a conversation with him that you know what he’s doing and it’s going to have consequences (if you have a husband or a male friend, it’s better they do this). Often, they would back off if they know the parents are onto them. If he doesn’t stop, please call responsible local services. Better be safe.
Hi! I know this article is a bit old, but you say that “rarely” are kids sexually abused by family members. I’m friends with many other sexual abuse survivors, and almost all of us were molested by a father, mother, or older sibling instead of a non-relative. Often the abuse would begin with incest, but the children are then abused by other adults because we were taught that adults being sexual with us is normal. It’s not rare at all for a family member to molest a child, some studies show that over a third of sexual abuse is from a member of the child’s family. When I was coming to terms with my abuse I was told that incest is rare which made me feel isolated and doubt myself. Please update the language to say that incest is not an uncommon kind of abuse. There’s more of us incest survivors than you would ever want to think
Hello, Helle! Yes, you are right, our info is a bit outdated. We are working on updating the post. Thank you for your input!
I’d be interested in how to recognize a pedophile, not as a parent, but as a community member. Particularly if it is a respected member of the community.
I AM A 54 YEAR OLD SURVIOR OF BEING SEXUALLY ASSULT BY MY MOMS 3 HALF BROTHERS AT HOLIDAYS GROWING UP! MY FATHER WAS A MASSIVE ALCOHLIC AND WE SUFFERED AT HIS HAND WITH MENTAL ABUSE,PHYSICAL ABUSE EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND ALCOHOL ABUSE. I AM 7 1/2 YEARS SOBER. WITH THE MOST PAINFUL RELATIONSHIPS AND EXTREME LOW SELF WORTH .I BELIEVE GOD HAD OTHER PLANS FOR ME BECAUSE THE MANY TIMES OF TRYING TO TAKE MY LIFE I NEVER SUCCEEDED. PLEASE PARENTS STAY ALERT AND BELIEVE YOUR CHILDREN. LOOK AT THE SIGNS I HAD SOOOOO MANY AND YET NO ONE NOTICED !
HI HELLE, THANK YOU FOR YOUR POST YOU ARE CORRECT SO MANY FAMILY MEMBERS ARE THE MONSTERS IN OUR LIVES HOW DO YOU TRUST WHO DO YOU TRUST. I ALSO HAVE SOME PRETTY AMAZING SURVIOR FRIENDS. THANK GOD FOR THEM EVERYDAY. THEY GET MY CRAZY. IVE BEEN IN THERAPY SINCE THE 5TH GRRADE. BACK AND FORTH AND A WHOLE LOT OF UGLY IN BETWEEN. IM 54 AND WITH THE HELP OF MY HIGHER POWER JESUS CHRIST IM A STRONG WOMAN NOW . BUT IT DOESNT MEAN I WILL EVER BE NORMAL. IM JUST MY NORMAL AND IM OKAY WITH THAT. 7 1/2 YEARS OK!
I have just recently discovered that my boyfriend of 22 years has been extensively active in sexually abusing young little boy’s and together with his neighbours,in the purchasing of these small children from all over the world who they somehow get into the country and are kept the neighbours apartment who sends them in groups to my now ex boyfriend’s apartment where they are forced into partaking in sexual activities while the neighbour makes video’s of these activities.
What to do when it is run by highly influential government officials who are aware of and protect this organization? I have it all on audio tapes but have been denied any assistance nor help from the local Rotterdam police .
This is a VERY SERIOUS AND HIGHLY CONVERNING AND FRUSTRATING EXAMPLE OF CORRUPTION IN THE HIGHEST DEGREE!
My boyfriend use ask for my 12 year old daughter left overs from when she couldn’t eat all her food. I told him to stop numerous times but it continued until his mother told him to stop after I discussed the situation with her. He would only ask for hers and not my other children which is boys. We have a 20 month old together as well. Another situation our daughter was nine months old time when I was waking up from a nap and I walk downstairs into living room when struck a conversation about buying a action figure for our daughter but instead of saying it that way he said ” he’s going to stroke her up real good when she gets older”. I was confused on his choice of words so instead of arguing I talked to my family first to see what they think and they pretty said there’s no way he made a mistake like that and another situation when she was 3 months old maybe I was coming home from getting my oil changed done my bedroom door was opened and my older children was there as well, so when I went to pick my baby up he was exposed and she was sitting on top of his penis. She was fully dressed and he had boxers on along with his pj but he said he didn’t know. I put cameras all threw my house and I never leave her alone with because I’m going crazy trying to figure out if he’s crazy. When I’m at work I’m constantly checking the camera to make sure she’s OK I feel like I’m going crazy constantly worrying about her but I’m scared when he leaves the courts will grant his visitation alone with him and I won’t have cameras to watch her. He’s always been respectful,kind,put my children before him such much good. I don’t know what going on. I told him I will never love anyone more then I love my children. We haven’t been intimate sense all this happened, it’s been two years sense when been that way and I don’t think I can ever be. This is weird and disturbing.
My friend has a father who stares at her when shes naked, gets really close with her,sometimes gives unwanted touches and more.
It is absolutely appalling what people commenting LET and ALLOW to happen to their children. You all should be in Jail. If you suspect or know. STOP IT IMMEDIATELY. No excuse. These children are traumatized and suffering. Shame!
Growing up victimized by a variety of predators, I understood that it was not uncommon for men to behave this way. When my daughter was born, I vowed this would never happen to my children. I devoured every book in the library on the subject. I paid attention. Close attention. But a few years ago, I learned from my adult son that he too was a survivor of child sex abuse. And that like me, it was at the hands of not just one single predator, but many. Every day since, it has been a struggle for me continue in this world. But I can at least offer some solid advice on this platform. You cannot predict who will be a predator. (Sadly, it could be your own brother, and you wouldn’t know.) And you can’t watch your children every second. What you can do is start teaching your children at a very early age how to protect themselves. Teach them when it’s not only okay, but essential, to clearly and confidently say, “No”, to adult. People want to pretend this talk is scary, but it should be no more scary than reminding children to buckle up in the car, or wear a bike helmet. You can’t protect them. They have to learn to protect themselves. You can teach that it’s a sickness some people have. How to watch out for it. Teach about how it happens, with the grooming. Teach them what, “instinct “, means, and teach them to communicate about their instincts. These are real things you can do to make a real difference. I’ve put a lot of thought into this over the years, and these are the things I wish I would have done.
known plenty of groomers in my days i know all there dirty little lies it still haunts me till this day still have em till this day……..
Also watch out for overly religious men.